Dear Top of Anna's Hairless Head,
I am writing today to bring something to your attention. I am not sure you realize your role in this little scenario. Your job is to grow hair. I have to tell you lately you have been falling down just a little bit. You did a pretty good when she was born. She had more hair than her brother upon arrival. Don't give yourself airs. He had no hair and you gave us about three hairs. Really it was nothing to sneeze at.
Now I present to you Exhibit A:
If she were a boy you would be in there. But she isn't a boy. And let me tell you I am very tired of people saying things like, "What a cute little boy you have." It probably has a little to do with her big brothers hand me downs. But if she had more hair people wouldn't question her sex no matter what she was wearing.
Next I present Exhibit B:
You see that five miles of forehead. I know she has her Dad's hairline but if you grew some cute little bangs it wouldn't matter. That great expanse of vast emptiness would be covered up.
Then maybe we could use these.
I will admit that my Mom was thinking just a teeny bit ahead when she bought these before Anna was even born. But it is time for you to step up to the plate here. Show us what you got. Go for the gusto. Give it your all.
I will give you credit. You are doing OK back here. Exhibit D:
But, here is the thing, it is starting to look a little like a mullet. You haven't been around long so let me explain. Business in the front, fun in the back. Yeah, it kind of went out with the 80s. It isn't cool. So stop it.
And finally I would like to present to you Exhibit E:
Look at that face. Doesn't she look sad. She wants hair. All the other babies pick on her. OK, OK, it wasn't about the hair.I took a pointy stick away from her and made her mad. But she cries about her hair a lot. (I love the contrast in this picture between her face and her shirt.)
The Mom who is sick of saying "She is NOT A BOY!!"