I am a stay at home mom. I am proud to be. It something we decided long before our kids were even thought of. What is the big deal you ask? Well let me tell you. In two weeks Mark starts his formal education. He is starting pre-school. He is ready to go out in the world. The school is ready to take him. Here is the problem. I am not ready to let him go. Every day for three years we have planned our day together. I get him up and we have the whole day in front of us. Now I will get him up and send him off into the world. What happened to my little baby. Just three years ago he was a tiny little baby. When I look back at old pictures I can hardly believe he was ever this little.
Even pictures from a year ago when he was all round and cute don't seem possible.
The kid amazes me with how fast he is growning into a little man.
In theory, I really want this for him. I did all the research and made the appropriate phone calls. I filled out all the paperwork and and sent it in. I spoke with his teachers and have plans to attend the open house, the parent planning night and his drop him off the first day. You would think I am ready. But I am not. It will be so quiet with just Anna and I. What will we do all morning without the tantrums of my three year old. What will I do without the incessant questions about I am doing any given second. What will I do without him under my feet telling me what Anna is doing wrong. Really, it is going to be very quiet here from 8:30 to 11:30 on Mondays and Thursdays.
On the other hand, Anna and I will have our mornings together just like Mark and I used to. We will be able to plan our morning without any pesky big brothers around to tell us what to do. When Jason is home we can enjoy a morning spent playing at the park or going grocery shopping. It will be fun.
But still it will be quiet here with out my big boy around. I am not ready.